your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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