she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
