I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
