i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
