i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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