As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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