We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
