yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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