I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
