Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
