She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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