summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
