Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize