I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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