I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
