we have officially lost it.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm passing your future prison.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
