he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
