I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Randomize
