I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i barfeds in our rink
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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