I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
