You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
