Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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