you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
