areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
