the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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