Quick, to the slutcave!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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