was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
