between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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