She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
