I have demons in me.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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