I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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