found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
