I wanna bring you to show and tell
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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