Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
