Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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