ya dads aren't the best wingmen
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
