Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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