I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
