I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
