Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
