Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Bring me that man meat
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
