You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
