Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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