Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
