the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
