would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
