Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
