She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
