Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
