We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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