If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
