My liver just broke up with me...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
